A Streetcar Named Praise

*Note: To keep this PG rated, expletives have been replaced by the title of a Hugh Grant film.

"You Four Weddings and a Funeral, crazy, sexy beast. What the The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain is with your horny, crazy, sexy blog? It's like you summarized every feeling I ever had and put it on the internet." (Meaghan, T. 2010)

I must agree, rb-b is pretty Did You Hear About the Morgans awesome.

Cool as a Cucumber.

I was bored this afternoon.

So I went to my local JB to pick up some Compact Discs of artists I have been enjoying lately.

Every time I walk into a store, it reminds me of how great a job there would be.

Working in a wonderland of music, films, games and computers!

siighhh.

Although I have a decent reference list, an alright report card, and a fair few extra-curricular activities I doubt that I would ever have a shot at getting a job there.

For starters, I'm happy with my current job, but I think that the major concern would be that I lack a certain quality.

Being extremely goddamn weird.

How may I help you?

All the people that work there have piercings in the most retarded of places, have black hair (possibly with a red streak?) and are the type of person that go home, turn off all the lights and crank their death metal.

At least they aren't (usually) the sort of people who listen to the music that they think is 'cool'.

I really hate that.

The people who's tastes varies each week as to what is popular.

"Today I like me some hardcore KiD CuDi, tomorrow…How about some Jack Johnson?"

I don't care if they genuinely like the music, but you can tell with the people who are just being sheep.

Anybody who has ever liked Linkin Park falls into this category.

How could anybody with ears like that band?

eugghh.

They are the sort of band which is listened to by the people who think that wearing sunglasses 24/7 is awesome.

And, if were necessary for them to take off their glasses, they think that it is absolutely badass to sit them on top of their head.

Speaking of awesome, don't you just love male hairstyles lately?

Sooo damn cool.

I'm so cool, I crap snow.

*Sarcasm

Notice how people try for the 'just gotten out of bed look'…Why don't they just leave their hair as it was after getting out of bed?

Works for me.

Well, half the time.

Rory likes this post.

Ahhhh, facebook what a magical tool.

Just like myspace, but without the skanks.

Just like twitter, but without the boring.

Pout dem lips: Pushing the boundaries of Facebook's lewdness scale.

What I hate though, is all the getting drunk groups.

You'll always notice that the people who aren't the party type join them.

And anyway, you're a wanker for joining it even if you do agree with 'Join if you love getting so drunk that you become clinically brain-dead'.

And, while I'm saying what I hate about facebook, I'd like to ask why people post stauses saying 'brb'.

That is in no way different to sending an e-mail to everyone in your address book saying:

To whom it may concern,

I'm not even talking to you right now, but I thought you might like to know that I'm going to be right back.

I understand that you had no idea that I was here in the first place, but I thought I'd tell you.

Thanks for your time.

I can't believe that I once said that facebook is gay, and myspace is way better. I mean, who could really be bothered making a nice HTML profile, when on facebook you just write all the bands and films that you like that you think others think are cool, and that you have never read a book in your life.

So, your illiterate?

Good for you.

I'm Standing on a Quote.

"Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude." (Hughes, J. 1986)

I must agree, the author of that rb-b seems rather gnarls.

And now a quick word from our sponsors

Why would you be reading my blog?
You're a fool.
What you should be doing is reading http://iw-av.blogspot.com/ and then reading this.
But, make sure you read this too.

Or else that'd make you a fool, too.

"iw-av: almost as good as rb-b" (Grant, C. 1948)

How was your day? Eughblarghdhfsf.

Today, was the dentist.

Most excellent.

Upon walking into the actual dental room, after a 40 minute wait in the reception I was greeted by my dentist. My usual dentist was away, and so today I had the temp.

She was small.

Very small.

Her head coming up to my nips small.

And Asian.

Very Asian.

Calling me 'Lawrly' asian.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

She was nice enough.

Anyway, after I get the rad glasses and gnarly bib on she shoves a huge clamp in my mouth to keep it open.

And wememberl to fross everyday.

Of course, after she has the clamp in my mouth, she asks me how my day was.

Naturally I replied, "Eughwhaskjflblkdskdf".

Next she gets out her instruments. Each of them look the same, each of them sound the same and each of them hurt the same.

Now, open wide.

Once that was done the hygienist came in.

What a waste of a job that is.

Seriously.

They study for how many years to teach you how to floss?

Pathetic.

What is the point of her coming in anyway, they say the same thing every time.

No matter how hard you floss everyday an hour before you go they always tell you to do it better.

I was surprised, though. She said I brush fantastically.

Top shit.

Quotey McQuote Quote

"Anyone who isn't a shyster bastard is an idiot. And anyone who is smart and nice is way too smart and way too nice. There's nobody in the middle. Either you're a fuckbag idiot or you're a pretentious blowhard." (T. Savage, 2008)

Except Bogart.

Incoherent Ramblings

Ahhhhh…

First Day Back.

How gay.

I got to see all my dumb little buddies, but then I also got to see the assholes.

As soon as I got to school I walked right into my mortal nemesis, a child who I haven't even spoken with.

I want to deathspike him.

No names, but he loves himself, feels the need to kick away any ball which enters his proximity, and walks like a goddamn duck.

You know what I love?

Caps Lock.

What an invention.

Absolute genius.

I love just cruising in caps lock for no reason.

Well, there is a reason…Its annoying to everyone reading it.

Sitting in class I often wonder what my teachers would've looked like in the 80s.

I firmly believe that my principal's hair would've been similar to Mel Gibson's in Lethal Weapon.

Exhibit a.

Beards are awesome.

Everyone knows that.

With each pubic centimetre (that's right) of beard, the awesomeness of the man increases by 2.4 on the manometer.

Ohhhhh girl, what I would do to you.

Okay, not always.

Speaking of Saddie, I just watched every goddamn episode of Arrested Development.

Watch it.

Its amazing.

Makes the godlike IT Crowd look like Antiques Roadshow.

Wait, bad example.

Antiques Roadshow is friggen awesome.

More like Two and a Half Men.

One.

It would seem that you found your way to my new blog.

A place where I shall blog amusing anecdotes, poetic phrases, picturesque photographs and just bitch about the world around me.

Currently, its the last day of the holidays, and its raining.

Thanks a lot Freyr.