rb-b is the bible, and this man is god.

Holy Jehova's Testes, Batman!

History is rubbish.

I hate the History Channel.

Lordy lord its dull.

Even their narrator's awesome monotonic annotations cannot save these godawful programs.

There are always shows about archaeological digs in Britain where they find a house next to a major city, or some other junk from many a year ago.

Now, is it just me or does this show that our ancestors were filthy litterers with a complete and utter disrespect for our dear, sweet Earth?

Surely someone would walk past a half-buried necklace, and take it, rather than watch it sink further into the ground daily.

And more so, a friggen house.

How can a town full of people not notice a neighbour's house half submerged in the dirt? Maybe everyone born pre-1900 was actually just a hobbit, so these houses engulfed in grass would just fit in.

To ensure that nobody finds your collection of Star Wars action figures in 500 years time - recycle, bitches.

Just a question..?

Howard, you know the black bits in bananas… Are they tarantula's eggs?

(Fielding 2004, The Mighty Boosh)

Thanks for the add, bitch.

I hate it when people say thanks for the add.

Which party is supposed to say it though, the requester or requestee?

I've seen both.

And it sods me off.

Manners are sexiful, but thanking someone for clicking 'confirm' is a load of wank.

Unless Grace Kelly accepts your request.

Then, thank like a bitch.

If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It - Why Don't You People Listen!?

*As you can tell I started this post ages ago (26 June), but got bored - so half was written just after the incident, the rest just now (13 July).*

Last Wednesday night I was watching ABC to see the review of Toy Story 3 on At the Movies (A film I will die if I do not see soon).

Half way through a review of a French Indie film, the picture rewound and then froze.

I had no idea what was going on, and then the image cut to a stage, on which our Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd was set to speak.

Now I like complaining just as much as the next person (probably even more so as you would know from reading this blog), but I think that ol' Ruddy was doing okay.

I've always liked Julia Gillard, but I can't say I'm glad that Australia's first female Prime Minister is the result of stabbing Ruddin the back.

She seems to be good enough, but I don't think I'll ever get over her two major flaws.

1. Her appearance.

She isn't ugly, but every time I see her I can't help but notice that she is obviously the result of Miranda (from my beloved Sex and the City) and the mayor of Whoville's sweet lovemaking.

that nose. wow.

2. Her voice.

My god, how can international politics take Kath from Kath and Kim seriously? We don't all sound like that, right?

Both of these flaws are extremely relevant to the advancement of her political career.

Tell me I'm wrong.

_______________________

p.s. I saw Toy Story 3 - jinkies gang, was that good or what?

If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It

Roll over, Beethoven.

Step away, Einstein.

Roll slowly away in your electric wheelchair, Hawking.

(And while you are at it, wipe the drool from around your mouth)

There's a new genius in town.

After ages of stuffing around in crappy online tutorials, I finally was able to do three things for this blog.

The first thing I achieved was to create a logo for the blog:

A room full of geniuses working non-stop for a month with photoshop,

or a bored child with 5 minutes and MS Paint?

Yes, I really did make the second B into a beard.

Genius.

The next thing I did, was to make that into a favicon - you know that little picture next to the URL in your browser?

Genius.

The third thing I did was added a facebook 'like' thingy into my posts.

So rather than reading on the homepage, click the title of the post and read it.

From there you can click 'like' to make me feel warm and gooey inside.

Genius.

Adequate Dress for Counting Sheep

Why are pyjamas so taboo?

The other day I was at work and I saw a woman and daughter in their PJs at the store next ours.

I looked at them wondering if either of them was a bit spesh' and to my knowledge they were a-ok.

I saw other people wondering the same which made me think - why is it so weird to see people in their jim-jams?

They cover all the bits, keep you warm and are the most comfortable item of apparel in your wardrobe.

This is just my skirt argument all over again.

Anyways, I want a onesie.

I've been tossing and turning about which type to get, and I think I'm going to finally order a red one.

My favourite onesie online store is one place I believe noone would be able to hold a straight face.

To my dismay, my favourite pose seems to have been discontinued (green), so I shall have to settle with the confident red:

For the confident incontinent adult: now with bumflaps.

Having a good chuckle to myself, I typed in 'onesie' into googleimages.

After clicking through innocent pages of onesies I finally stumbled across:

Babes with Bumflaps XXX

Really?

__________________________

Edit:

Searching across the site I finally found that green has in fact not been discontinued, but moved from the men's area to fleece.

Why can't it remain in both?

Without further ado:

Gangsta Green