Thursday, March 31, 2011

cAPITAL pUNISHMENT

whoever invented the english language was a fool.
why, i hear you ask.
because they invented capital letters.

now i ask you, why are they necessary?
seriously though, think about it.
name me one instance where they are absolutely necessary.
sure, in some cases, a nice ol' capital X can look pretty badass.
and in other cases capitals can neaten up a bland-looking paragraph.

strangely enough, a nice ol' picture of dr phibes can make
any paragraph look wickedgnarlyradical.

my main gripe with capital letters is the ease to misuse them:
  1. caps lock - TYPING WORDS IN CAPS LOCK MAKES ME READ IT AS IF SOMEONE IS YELLING AT ME.
  2. caps lock (feat. shift key) - fORGETTING THAT YOU HAVE CAPS LOCK ON, YET STILL ATTEMPTING TO USE CAPITALS IN THE CORRECT PLACES MAKES YOU LOOK ABOUT AS INTELLIGENT AS A SNOWMAN MADE OF HUMAN FAECES. fOOL.
  3. capitalising every word - Not Everything Is A Title, Jackass.
  4. capitalising every second letter - wOuLd YoU hApPeN tO hAvE a MeNtAl ReTaRdAtIoN?
i really don't see the need for capital letters, it just doubles the amount of learning those poor year one children have to learn.

once, just once, think of the children.

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